The DOH Cult

[Towelie]

So, we were discussing in the Manager chat about making a cult. It would give us tax exempt status and allows us to get away with stuff.

So after talking to Managers, this is our religion:

Name: The DOH Cult
We believe in: Memes
How we pray: We Dab
Our Cult Leader: TowelieDOH
Our place of worship: a '89 Subaru hatchback
Our symbology / object of worship:

Our holy book:
The year? 1983. A young TowelieDOH was brought to the world. Born with nothing but a machine and his memes, he went to work. Day in and day out for years, the young DOH worked, scavenged, and memed until he can meme no longer. In the year 1989 the young one fell in love. At 4:20pm on that cold december night, Towelie saw the 1989 Subaru Hatchback. Letting out a huge sigh of relief and dabbing his way to the car dealership, he found his transportation device. After this day, Towelie swore that one day, that '89 hatchback would be home to more then just some mere homemade memes, but a home for friends. A gang maybe.. nay, a cult. Many moons have passed and now, in the year 2010, one of towelie's best memes has come to life. Her name? Superfuntime. The young Towelie has met many faces through this meme of his creation and has been very proud. On the date of August 10, 2016. A shining star was born... The DOH cult. With his brother Dpa1991 at his side, he threw in his finest Manager+ from Survival to create such a vast religious system was a huge accomplishment for the DOH. Anything past that date? That my friend, that, is history.

Our commandments:
- Thou shalt not ask for JMod
- Smoke weed everyday (if you're over 18) OR Eat dorritos everyday (if you're under 18)
- Spread the word of the lord -> "Hi, I'm from PMC. Have you accepted our meme and savior TowelieDOH? May the holy subaru hatchback bless you. Dab!"


NOTE: This post is a joke. It is not in any way true. We are not actually starting a cult, this is just for fun. We are not mocking any religions and if we offend someone, I apologize.

[iLaxrv10]

That emblem took me many moons to craft, hopefully many faces shall bestow its holy light upon them... 

[mike219966]

Make this into a T-Shirt.
Join our cult! Oh and here's a nice shirt to go with it.

[andrewfer000]

As one of the dankest people on SFT i think that I should have a very dank part of ur cult. Since I have direct connection with the meme gods

[American_Walrus]

I'll have what you guys are having

After a moment of thought, no. I do not want what you guys are having

[Doctor_Thanos]

At least I'm on the Meme spirit...

[RallyReaper]

Boredom can be fun at times.

[Towelie]

Boredom can be fun at times.

Your praise pleases me.

[Towelie]

Boredom can be fun at times.

Rally, can you make that into 4000x4000 or something so I can add it to a t-shirt xD
I swear to doh i'd put this t-shirt as cheap as i can for 0 comission just to spread the word of the doh

[Towelie]

To start your very own cult:

1) Begin by creating your own reality. You do this by keeping your members away from outsiders. An isolated farm in the middle of Idaho is good but if such a retreat isn't available, impose a form of self-censorship. If it's not of the cult, it's of the devil.

2) Next set the leader and his/her inner circle up as the only link to paradise... only they hold the keys to the kingdom.

3) Remember to make increasing demands. Start small but keep it going and eventually you'll have your followers standing in line to turn over all their worldly possessions.

4) Keep turning out stories about the greatness of the leader. The more unbelievable the more they will be believed. Your members have already been conditioned from the time they were children to accept things like coming back from the dead and walking on water.

5) Remember to use your converts to bring in still more converts. This has the double advantage of picking up new disciples and (even if that doesn't always work) the mere act of proselytizing will further cement the commitment of those already in the fold.

6) Keep everybody busy. This doesn't allow time for potentially critical thought. Let the minds of the masses wander and who knows, they might put two and two together. For this reason, long sermons — the longer the better — and interminable work shifts are essential. And when you aren't haranguing them and they aren't being kept busy... make sure they're at least singing.

7) And finally, keep your flock fixated on the carrot. The payoff is just around the corner and only they will be the ones paid off. The clouds will part and they will be raptured up and then, boy-oh-boy, won't all those non-believers be sorry.


More of #4 needs to happen.
Praise the doh!

[ste2302]

No gangs please

[BattleAxium]

Stu gang 2.0?

[RallyReaper]

Boredom can be fun at times.

Rally, can you make that into 4000x4000 or something so I can add it to a t-shirt xD
I swear to doh i'd put this t-shirt as cheap as i can for 0 comission just to spread the word of the doh

Perhaps haha, It gave me something to do i was bored tbh XD

[SnipeMasterShark]

A full 5 minutes of         




then I saw the small print and was like     

[ste2302]

Stu gang 2.0?

Confirmed

[Melonmel10]

Dank.

[Towelie]

Stu gang 2.0?

It's a cult, not a gang.

[Bakonator]

GLORY TO THE DOHs AND OUR DEAR LEADER!
(and Pepe <3)

[cravend]

As requested, @Towelie

[Nubbun]

As requested, @Towelie

pssst it's ">18" ;P

[cravend]

pssst it's ">18" ;P

nuu because >18 means greater than 18 and that is for less than 18 year olds

[Nubbun]

pssst it's ">18" ;P

nuu because >18 means greater than 18 and that is for less than 18 year olds

omg im stupid. ignore xd

[ep9954]

The sad thing is you're not the only dank memes cult

[Lucy_23x]

Skipping through this,
You're all nuts.
And that's coming from ME.

[nuggetzor150]

I would buy a tshirt. Let's take submissions for a tshirt and then sell them for the server.